well

things are looking up, i suppose.

met someone interesting.  talented.  friendly.  pretty.  someone i never thought i would get connected with.  it's definitely a sign haha, but i dont wanna ruin it.  just go with the flow, i suppose

fml

my parents found my cigarettes.  i opened up to them for the first time in a while that I'm under a lot of pressure and stress.  I feel so low right now.  when will this mourning period end? if you could only knew how empty i feel and how miserable i've been.  i have nothing now =(

i see you

online.. but im too scared to say anything.  I just dont want you to feel pressured and forced.  I dont want you to think im a lifeless psycho who has nothing to do.  maybe i should just go to bed.  i dunno how else to talk to you.  even if i say anything you probably wont care.

just feel like blogging before i shoot the basketball around.  listening to street corner symphony performances from the sing-off. never gets old.  i guess everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, and that includes me.  a good friend of mine said i shouldn't even be worrying about stuff like that right now, and i need to get my focus on.  I feel like i'm talking about the same shit in all these blogs.  i was doing fine and i dont know why but i'm turning all emo again =( waaaaaa. i've been smoking like a chimney.  I need God but I'm too much of a bastardly son to ask for His forgiveness.  I need a reality check.  I need something MAJOR to happen in my life.  welps that's all for today.  who knows, maybe something interesting will happen later on today and i'll write it here, if i feel like it.