inyimlfeaeb

:)

life is good

seems like youre also doing well. i wish you the best, white swan =)

well

things are looking up, i suppose.

met someone interesting.  talented.  friendly.  pretty.  someone i never thought i would get connected with.  it's definitely a sign haha, but i dont wanna ruin it.  just go with the flow, i suppose

fml

my parents found my cigarettes.  i opened up to them for the first time in a while that I'm under a lot of pressure and stress.  I feel so low right now.  when will this mourning period end? if you could only knew how empty i feel and how miserable i've been.  i have nothing now =(

i see you

online.. but im too scared to say anything.  I just dont want you to feel pressured and forced.  I dont want you to think im a lifeless psycho who has nothing to do.  maybe i should just go to bed.  i dunno how else to talk to you.  even if i say anything you probably wont care.

just feel like blogging before i shoot the basketball around.  listening to street corner symphony performances from the sing-off. never gets old.  i guess everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, and that includes me.  a good friend of mine said i shouldn't even be worrying about stuff like that right now, and i need to get my focus on.  I feel like i'm talking about the same shit in all these blogs.  i was doing fine and i dont know why but i'm turning all emo again =( waaaaaa. i've been smoking like a chimney.  I need God but I'm too much of a bastardly son to ask for His forgiveness.  I need a reality check.  I need something MAJOR to happen in my life.  welps that's all for today.  who knows, maybe something interesting will happen later on today and i'll write it here, if i feel like it.

just so you know

... these past 2 weeks have been pretty depressing, to say the least.  my plan to go back to school in September is still good to go, it's just that I hate waiting. I have NO patience.  This is bad.  what the hell am i supposed to do for the next 8 months? Well, ok, i know I can start preparing for the GMAT test.  And to be sure I turn in the applications.  That's actually kind of important, huh. Fuck.



and yes, i've been feeling a little lonely.  it sucks having no one to call/text whenever you need someone to talk to.  if you're reading this (you know who you are), i commend you for sticking up to your goals, and for for once trying to make a relationship work.  Sometimes i wonder, "where was all this effort when we were together?" but lets not lament on what happened in the past.  we can always improve and work on the future, which is something we all should do.  i havent been posting up a new entry in 2 weeks! dont mind the rustiness.  til next time.